Identity

My first semester at Trinity University has been interesting. I really enjoyed the company of all my hallmates and suitemates, but I couldn't find any enjoyment within myself. (It was probably due to my medication...) Anyway...I found myself pretty depressed at times. I never really spoke to anyone about my feelings because I really didn't feel comfortable with my surroundings. Weird... I know... I had no reason to feel depressed though. I had everything going for me and had great family and friends all around me. I guess I just didn't know what I wanted to do with myself.

Throughout middle school and high school, I felt like I knew who I was. I was in the so-called "popular" crowd and was someone who people looked up to. I never hung out with a single group of people. I enjoyed befriending different crowds, always curious at how they viewed things. I learned a lot from having such a diverse group of friends. When I tried out for cheerleading my freshmen year in high school, I knew that I had found me "calling." I loved the discipline and respect that my team had towards one another. I lived, breathed, and slept cheerleading. I was a natural at it. My felxibility, agility, strength, and motivation helped me become one of the core members on our high school team and competition team. I loved every moment of it.

Now that I'm in a new environment, I get confused at times about what my purpose is. I don't enjoy life as much. I feel like I'm couped up all the time even though I get off campus every chance that I get. It's really weird though... I chose Trinity because I REALLY wanted a small university where I could get more one-on-one time with my professors. I don't know what's wrong with me. I really hope that I find myself at Trinity.

Trouble, First Semester

My first semester at Trinity has been a... well... a pretty interesting one. I had to learn how to live with three other girls who I've never met before. My roommate and suitemates contacted me over the summer while I was vacationing in Jamaica. At first glance, I thought that all of them looked pretty easy going.

The first time that I met them, I felt super lucky that I was paired up with them. One of my suitemates, Mellissa, warned us that she liked taking long showers. She wasn't joking. The morning of the first day of NSO, she spent a good 45 mins in the shower! It's pretty ridiculous how long that girl takes in the shower. My other suitemate, Bria, told us that she likes giggling a lot and that she's never been sad a day in her life. She wasn't joking either. Bria laughs 24/7 and her optimistic attitude will brighten anyones day. My roommate, Kate, told us that she loves shoes. She brought a good 40 pairs to school!

The first half of the fall semester was pretty hard. Bria and I love studying when it is super wuite while Kate and Mellissa like blasting music while studying so we butted heads a couple of times but Kate and Mellissa were really sweet about it and they always turned their music down. We were also annoyed with Mellissa's alarms. Yes, I said "alarms." She used her phone as an alarm, had a radio alarm, and an alarm clock. Weirdly enough, none of them would wake her up... The alarms would wake up our whole hall as well. It was really interesting. She's a really hard sleeper. We were able to resolve this by personally waking her up.

Grades were also a problem. I was doing great in all of my classes except for biology. I LOVED biology before I got to Trinity. I'm sad to say that Trinity kind of made me hate it. I think it was due to all of the readings. They weren't very interesting and I always found myself dosing off while reading it. In the end, I ended up with my first EVER, C.

I also missed my family. I was always use to them being around all the time. They were always involved with all of my activities and was always there to cheer me up. I felt really alone in the Trinity bubble.

Being on Accutane didn't help as well. I had severe headaches and crying spells as side affects from the medication. The only nice part about being on Accutane was that I got to fly home to Houston every fourth Tuesday for about 10 hours for dermatologist appointments.

All in all, my first semester challenged me mentally and physically.